During my school journey, Hans Sellier and stress were discussed. As I recall, there are good and bad stresses that are impossible to avoid without staying on the margins of life. There are others that are more avoidable, but they add up and each of us has our limits.
I suggest that you identify some of them and I invite you to suggest others to me in order to share our experiences. There are several stressful situations in our lives we are aware of and some not. There are others that we live without having identified them. Let’s see if my avoidable stress and yours are the same:
THE NEWS: It is a source of stress that can easily be avoided. Think about it before turning on television or radio if you already feel fragile. The vast majority of the proposed information is negative, repetitive from one broadcast to another. If there is information of interest, your entourage will let you know.
SOCIAL MEDIA: You feel obliged to check every hour (minutes!) what is written on your wall. You always think you’re “missing” something if you don’t go there on a regular basis. It is a stress that you can eliminate by gradually reducing your interactions. Ask yourself what’s important, clean up your subscriptions.
THE SEARCH FOR PERFECTION: Not asking for help has nothing to do with pride and you should not boast about. You put extra stress on yourself and it’s not necessary. Let your loved ones see your vulnerability. The snow blower, the mower represent hard work you could do yourself in times of crisis. Asking for help and accepting that the work is not being done according to our criteria is a step towards improving your quality of life.
OTHER PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOR: If you are surrounded by negative or angry people, it will have an effect on your enthusiasm . The impact and the repercussions are insidious. You are always managing your own behavior so as not to stimulate the reactions of the other. Why not reverse the situation and encourage the presence of positive, understanding people in your daily life. The positive attracts happiness and creates a sense of well-being that you need.
YOUR PHONE: It maintains the illusion that you must be available at all times for everyone. Before cell phones, there were answering machines. People didn’t communicate at all times. Remember to put your phone in airplane mode for the daytime activities scheduled for your well-being. At night, recharge it in a room other than your room. Notifications and text messages can wait and if there is an emergency, the ringing of your phone will wake you up.
YOUR BEDSIDE TABLE: Often the first thing you look at when you wake up. Too often, it is buried under books, notes, handkerchiefs, envelopes, children’s toys, your glasses cases, your cell phone, etc. This view can be discouraging and increase your stress level every time you wake up and get up. Think about cleaning it up a bit.
WEATHER: Don’t rely on weather forecasts to plan your days. Live in the moment. Try it out for a week or two. At the end of the day you will realize that you will have accomplished more without the negative effects of the weather forecast. When the rain is forecast, it doesn’t rain all day.
TIME: The problem is often that you want to do everything and never choose between two activities. Your calendar is overflowing. Learn to better optimize your time without always feeling rushed. Prioritize your activities before participating in those of other persons just to please them.
LITS: It’s scary to write everything down. Try to put a little flexibility into your daily life instead of managing it all! Prioritize, evaluate whether it is important to do it now or not.
HESITATIONS: Too often, you are afraid to make a mistake. You hesitate before making a move. All these hesitations are driving up your stress level. Let yourself be right. At the end of the day, you’ll realize there aren’t a lot of mistakes. Trust yourself.
THE PAST: You remember bad memories and forget all good ones. Get rid of all the remorse that undermines your life, your days and your strength.
THE FUTURE: You plan, organize and plan everything you do in one hour, one day, three days, one month, one year… Stop! Give yourself time to enjoy the present moment and experience it simply: a much less stressful tactic.
KEYS: Every time you think you’ve really lost them, and every time you do, you feel a lot of stress in your chest. Then you find them… until next time! There are gadgets to find your keys without stressing, door locks with combinations. You don’t have to stress.
YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY: Old squabbles wear you out, comparisons give you pimples and thinly veiled attacks exasperate you. And who does the suffering? Your serenity, of course! Give yourself the right to say no and move on to a new subject.
FOOD: What to eat for dinner? What to prepare for lunch? Who makes the restaurant reservation? What to plan for the family barbecue in three weeks? All these questions about food make you want to run away! Ask yourself about sharing tasks so that you don’t always have to do everything.
YOUR WEIGHT: You are led by the tip of your nose by your scale. Your weight obsesses you and generates stress at all times. Enough: start living without worrying about your weight. It will always be time to deal with it after a rash attack. You know how to feed yourself without constantly weighing yourself.
ALARMS: You’ve become accustomed to putting alarms for everything in your phone. It’s a great way to unload your memory. You’re now working in fear of being caught by an alarm. You jump at the slightest bell— even if it’s not your phone! Ringtones make your stress climb to new heights!
OTHERS ‘OPINION: What others have seen that you have sometimes enjoyed life. You do not succumb to a craving for ice cream at the corner convenience store, because you fear to meet an acquaintance. And if you go there, you don’t benefit from it, because stress assails you all along. It’s time to let go of other people’s opinions and just trust yourself.
YOUR ANXIETIES: In your head, the repetitions of “What if … it takes …” seems to be endless. As soon as you manage to chase away one anxiety, another immediately takes its place. So your stress can never take a break. Tame your anxieties to breathe more freely. Often the trigger for UCS is there.
LIES: Living with your lies is much more difficult than you think. Indeed, you need to spend a lot of energy so as not to get involved in all your lies. And suddenly, your stress is exacerbated. Be careful, lying is never a good solution.
RADIO AND TELEVISION: Without even thinking about it, you turn on the television or radio wherever you go: in the kitchen, in your car, in the office, etc. Some people like not to feel alone as well. But all this noise can become noise pollution that bothers you and irritates you. Try turning off your devices at certain times and re-taming the silence.
YOUR CLOTHING: Every morning, it’s the same catchphrase. You sigh in front of your wardrobe and complain, saying “I don’t know what to wear!” ” Even if your drawers and hangers are overflowing. Perhaps it would be better to reduce the number of clothes to make your choice easier.
THE DISORDER: If you are stressed, ask yourself a question: is your office, living room,… is it in order? If your answer is “no”, it may be responsible for your stress. Yes, a crowded and poorly organized environment can cause you small worries which, by multiplying, stress you enormously.
You can send me your comments and avoidable stress by writing to firstname.lastname@example.org The complete and up-to-date list will be available in the member’s area which is part of our plans for 2020-2021.
– ELAINE DÉRY